DISCLAIMER: There is no actual gay dragon sex in this post. If that is why you are here, you can stop reading.

So we finally get back to the land of D&D once more, and all is well. We have three weeks to dally about, and we all buy our new shiny magical buff items. (Also, my maximum diplomacy bonus becomes a +40. Woot.) So we're in town, and we decide to watch a puppet show. It gives witty satire about the tax rate in town, and then goes into a play about the Knights of Surrobar (our group), when suddenly BOOM A WAREHOUSE IS BLOWN UP AND THERES AN UMBER HULK HOLY CRAP AND ITS FIENDISH!

It goes ballistic, charging our cleric and attacking immediately. After a couple rounds, cleric is down and also dead. It's sad, particularly because there's only one free source of healing left to the party.

Me. Mister .

...God damnit, I just know I'm going to have to take Touch of Healing at 9th level now. And then someone's going to build a Cleric.

Oh well. I digress. The Umber Hulk kicks half the party's ass with its Confusion gaze, and the Warlock shoots me. I'd like to point out that the Warlock and the Spiked Chain Bard (Mentioned before) are played by the same character. Apparently, the GM likes using her to kill me. Except this time she didn't critical so I was okay. Well, she didn't critical me. The Umber Hulk, though...

Anyways, we saved a baby through use of Feather Fall... and we also saved an old man with a fruit cart. That was pretty neat. Then the gnomes showed up. That kicked ass... as apparently the town has been training a crack team of gnomes to defeat magical threats like that one.

Umber hulk dies, turns out it was probably a summon. Meanwhile, I hear a rumor about the guy who owned that warehouse leaving town on a phantom steed. Interesting. I wonder... there's got to be a connection. Right?

So the next day we get a business dinner with the stacked sort of chick you'd expect to see working in a sketchy nightclub. She wants us to help a dwarf find his missing son, and we decide to help out. (With no reward. Agh, the horrors of beauty.) Turns out that he's somewhere in the underdark. We had convenient passages there from the city, but it also turns out the Stormblades caved them in. Probably by accident. Idiots.

Anyways, later that night we get visited by these two guys who want us to talk to them, and Brad and I entertain them, and we both make Diplomacies after a few minutes.

The next day, we're both in a secret society, so secret not even we know the other is in it. We're against demon-hunters, or whatever. Also, I have a 1000 day supply of trail rations, and about 80 spare bolts. Why? Because we might need them. Yes. I wasted about 18 gold on a might. Anyways! Party heads off. After a few days travel we find a Hill Giant.

Wait. Giants are extinct in Eberron.

Well. I guess they're extinct NOW, anyways. The fight lasted maybe two whole turns before our greatsword-throwing fighter killed it.

The next day, we arrive at the home of our contact to find a fissure into the underdark. But wait. He's being attacked by a RED DRAGON.

Here's where 'teh ghey' happens. It's taken a little damage. A bit. Enough to lower it to only CR 7 instead of 9. But it still has the breath weapon of a CR 9 red dragon, and it still beats most of us in initiative. Its first move is flying overhead and cone of fireing us all. Three failed reflex saves and a GM-fudge later, me and the cleric's new character (A wizard of some sort) are both at -8 (And stable!), and the old guy we needed alive? He's at 1 HP. (Seriously though, it was a pretty high roll on 6d10.) The moral of the story was that even if a dragon has lowered HP, it still deals damage like a CR9. Luckily, our fighter deals the damage of a CR 12. At a distance. With a thrown greatsword. So we kill the dragon and put it in our wagon with the bunches of food and the bolts to dissect and make armor with later. This is probably a good idea..?

The guy we needed to meet, by the way, was awesome. He's a bard of, I'd guess about level 11... and he's completely insane. He thinks he's the king of a land that doesn't exist attacked by other lands that don't exist, and that our town recently survived a war that doesn't exist. He's like permanent insanity, but awesome.

Short update, I know, so here's a quick party rundown for you guys!

Tank/Fighter/Thrower of Greatswords: Warforged Warblade 5/Bloodstorm Blade 1.
He's the guy who's always in the front, and he throws around his greatsword as a melee attack. From a distance. Also, he recently got gloves that let him throw +1 javelins made out of thin air. His favorite moves tend to deal either 4d6+23 on a touch attack, or 5d6+23 overcoming DR and Hardness. He's actually Neutral Evil, and he is obsessed with glory. He's touched in the head... so he's a little crazy.

Buffmonger/Item Creator/Leader: Human Artificer 6.
He's an artificer who buffs people. He's also a noble of the town, and he dances REALLY well. He's kind of the party leader, too, and he knows our party's strengths and weaknesses as a whole inside and out. Also, he's the acting cleric for our Fighter, because he gets the Repair spells. True Neutral, and the voice of reason often as not.

Ranged Combat Specialist/Invisibility Seer: Halfling Warlock 6
See Invisibility 24 hours a day. Maximized Eldritch Blast Mortalbaned for 36 damage. Soon enough, Invisibility 24 hours a day and Fly 24 hours a day. Please god, make her stop. Also, she hurts me whenever the GM tells her to hurt me. I really need to build my touch AC. She's Neutral Good, and tends towards Bleeding Heart.

The Spotter/Useful versus Sepia Snake Sigil: Aesimir Spellthief 4
He pokes people and steals their spell effects instead of dealing Sneak Attack Damage. Useful in a fight, but more useful for the Enlarge Persons he gives our tank. Don't know his alignment, but he seems to play like a Good character, and again he always wants to help the nice team.

Fell Drain Magic Missile/And that's all he needs: ???? ???? ?
All I know about him is he casts fell drain magic missiles and wastes his 0 level spells. He was our Cleric, so... That's about it. He seems to be Chaotic Neutral, but... I'm not too sure about anything at this moment. I'm just going to stay on his good side.

Stuff Knower/Acting Cleric/God of Diplomacy: Human Bard 6
Yep, this is my character. +15 to all Bardic Knowledge checks, +20 if it's monsters... +31-40 on Diplomacy, depending on target, oh and let's not forget his buffing abilities and mild (Cure Light Wounds!) healing ability. Since we have no cleric, it's going to get less mild in the future, and I might have to make my 9th level feat Touch of Healing, and save Disguise Spell for 12th. Either way, I'm in charge of dealing with people, and telling everyone else the monster weaknesses. Also he's a master of disguise, but no one knows that. CN and loving the hell out of it.

Yep. That's our party in a nutshell. So uhh... That's all for today.